Sillybean

The current issue of Entertainment Weekly has an amusing story about the court case between Clive Cussler and the studio who made Sahara. Here’s the part that made me fall out of my chair (emphasis mine):

More pointedly, though, the producers also accused the novelist of lying about how many fans he actually has. ‘’Sahara didn’t [...]

Sick. Been sick since Saturday. I’ve reached the stage of the cold where all the snot that’s left is gluey and won’t come out. My head feels like it’s been filled with molasses. I’m sure you are all thrilled to know these things.

In the next room over, some computer-generated fantasy creatures are dying. Loudly. With [...]

Having whipped through the entire Lord Peter series in the first two weeks of the year, I decided to see if the BBC miniseries/movies/whatevers were any good. Strong Poison came in the other day, so I popped it into the player during lunch.

This is dreadful.

I don’t mean that it’s a bad production. Far [...]

I got to go see a sneak preview of The Holiday tonight with my friend Michelle, my chick flick buddy. I adored the trailer, and I thought if the movie was anything like it, I’d totally love it.

So if you haven’t seen the trailer, here’s the deal: Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet have both recently [...]

“The Illusionist,” it turns out, was reprinted in the 3rd Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror. This is a good thing, because Millhauser’s original collection is hard to find, at least around here. Fortunately the library had this edition of the Year’s Best; it’s one of the few I don’t have yet.

I probably should not [...]

It’s lovely. Go see.

Well. That was the Transporter 3 script with the serial numbers filed off, directed by a Tarantino wannabe and filmed by Baz Luhrmann’s demented evil twin.

It was worth it for the five seconds of Atari-style video game footage after the credits, which tied together both credit sequences and a throwaway line from the middle of [...]

I’m taking up a collection to replace the brain cells I lost during the viewing of Talladega Nights. If you’d like to donate some gray matter, please let me know!

Michael has declared Nacho Libre the worst. movie. ever.

“Worse than Ultraviolet?” I asked.

“Oh God, yes,” he said.

In other news, I finally got around to reading Old Man’s War. Very funny, good action, not too deep. Perfect for a Monday evening after a long day at work.

And I have to get up and do it [...]

As slow, ponderous, and beautifully filmed as 2001, without the crazy computer to liven things up.

Eh. Too many stories smushed together too quickly, and resolved in such a way as to greatly limit future story possibilities. That’s just a sloppy way to handle a series.

Writers (and Famke Janssen’s hairstylist): no biscuit. Everyone else gets a cookie.

“The Thing Called Love.” Came highly recommended; not sure why. Great music. Great cast, except for River Phoenix, who seems so vacant that I presume he was stoned out of his mind the whole time they were filming.

As for the plot, well, it’s hard to enjoy the romance — and keep from wishing I [...]

Michael described it best: an hour-and-a-half-long German techno video with badly translated Japanese one-liners for dialogue.

Seriously, that was the worst movie I have ever seen.

I’m not sure I can convey the badness, but in the interest of saving you all the price of a ticket, here’s a recap.

The movie starts with some lovely animated establishing [...]

Why are multiple showings of Underworld: Evolution sold out on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon when the theater has just brought back all of the Best Picture nominees?

And why, when I should be writing fiction, is my head suddenly filled with, like, fifteen business ideas?

Minions, that’s what I need.

Lovely. Would have been lovelier if we hadn’t been treated to the musical stylings of Manheim Steamroller instead of the dialogue during Lucy’s tea with Mr. Tumnus, but that’s the local Cinesuck for you. They got it straight just before he admitted [the important thing], so it’s all good.

Those child actors were killer. I’m [...]